sunset

I just thought of something that made me realize that I'm passing being a teenager. I have no clue how to use tumblr or twitter and I'm 23 only. Not that I'm illiterate but i think having to learn a whole new site is so time consuming. Who has that much time?

I'm having another one of my moments where i wish i had my laptop so i could write.

The sky is so beautiful 10 minutes before the sunsets in LA. That's the only time in my whole day where I feel like everything will be alright. And it starts getting dark and that's when I'm back to where I began. :(

I haven't changed on bit over the years. Same ol'same ol'

So I'm a skin care junkie and i think skin care is #1. I've been using naruko products lately and i have to say... Its awesome. Maybe I'll do a blog post on it. Its also super cheap for what it offers. The packaging is awesome and it actually makes my skin so much better.

How i see it is that since I'm no beautyqueen i have to take care of the assets i do have such as my skin, hands, and butt. That way when im old i won't live life regretting not taking care of myself.

a little bit of color

Musha Restaurant - Torrance + Quality Seafood - Redondo Beach

For my birthday this year I told J to take me to go eat and tbh I was a bit disappointed this year. I thought he was going to take me to a restaurant I've been really wanting to go to, but we ended up going to two different places.

First, went to Quality Seafood for lunch. I love seafood and I love how Quality Seafood steams instead of boiling. All the natural crab juices stay inside the crab.

Clam Chowder - J ate the whole thing, I didn't really care for it. It was too thick for me.

EXTRA lemons and butter! :)

I regret getting this shrimp. After I got it, I saw that they had diablo(?) spicy shrimp.

Was not good... how do I know you ask? Well, I suck the head and if it's a bit bitter... no like.

Dungeness crab(male) - forgot to ask the guy for a female crab...

I also got blue crabs, they were decent as well but I forgot to snap pictures. Quality seafood is great because you get so many options and it's actually nice eating out doors in the sun. I like!

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After some sight seeing and some shopping we ended at Musha in Torrance. It's in the same plaza as Torihei and Seikoen. I don't understand how 3 GREAT restaurants could be in the same plaza. I wish I lived over there... they have so many great restaurants.

trying to be artistic

J and I concluded that these were names of the employees.

Spicy tuna with rice crackers - I was disappointed that they only gave us 2 crackers :( The table next to us got 3! haha

I also forgot to take a picture of the seared mackerel. He torched it at the table and it was delicious.

Sirloin grilled on charcoal - you grill it at the table, it was fun although the beef wasn't great quality for the $14-$15 we paid. Still, a great dish with protein!

I LOVE my camera.

by this time J and I were full beyond this universe. We still had their popular risotto. When he brought it, I thought we were going to be able to dig in from the block of Parmesan. I was wrong, he scrapped and scrapped and mixed.

The risotto was probably the best dish of the night, I love creamy milky cheesy anything. :)

I think by that time I was so full I couldn't eat another bite. This sandwich had scallops in it I believe. I didn't even touch it. :(

Relationships

I have been bending backwards trying to save something that might not be there anymore. Unlike before, I keep everything to myself now and I don't think it's really helping. Does anyone know the feeling of not being able to understand certain situations or feeling like you're just paranoid, but not all at the same time. I feel that way towards him, and I am so lost.

I believe people grow up and you drift apart, I am no longer as sappy as I used to be. As I grow older, I become more and more private and it scares me because I don't have a place to vent my true feelings. I'm not making any sense... do I ever?

People say, "you get comfortable," but that's not what I want. I don't want to just get comfortable and I feel like him and I aren't what we used to be, but that doesn't bother him(?) Why? Because we've been together for 4+ years?

I tell him that it hurts me deep down inside and sometimes I don't feel like we are even a couple anymore, but nothing changes and I end up being the biggest nag. so I stop because that's all I can do is stop. I try to tell myself that this is just me(which could be), but all these thoughts still come back in my head. For example, if he's gone for too long I start getting worried like "wtf. is he on his phone talking to another girl? Is he texting? wtf is he doing?" I know, and I'll get so overwhelmed in these feelings that I stick to it. I can't figure myself out anymore, because I'll go the extent and check his phone and find nothing... only to realize I'm being really paranoid.

I know the correct answer to my feelings is to take a break and let myself breath. He's put me through situations I never understood how I got out of, and I think it's all slowly starting to unfold.

I feel so confused, and hurt. I'm tired of being hurt, I really am.

Nails again!

pretty base color? I like!

my pet bunny. he has plenty of names: buckwheat, bun bun, piggie