This is personal and this is the last one.

This will be the last personal post about J. I think breakups are hard and I was actually try to sort out my pictures when I saw this. Ouch, the heart really hurts when I saw this. I was sleeping when he took this and I imagine how he was feeling when he took this picture. How things change and how growing up requires so much space and time. Even I thought we would be together for a very long time and I'm sure he thought that as well.

I always felt like I always fit comfortably in his arms and I was always comfortable. I would sleep in his arms and wake up in them and he would never complain about it. Little things like kissing me in the middle of the night is really touching, he kisses me on the forehead everyday. The day when he told me he needed to be alone, I knew deep down inside we were over. Because I really love him, I let him go. I think after all the love he has showed me in two years, that's the least I can do for him. I haven't cried in the past week and today I have officially broke my record.

He has given me so much more then I could ever ask for. It's not just love or relationships, it's his support and his never ending optomistic attitude. I always said he was my bear because he was always warm even in winter. I just had to sit next to him and he would warm me up. I just had to call his name at night and he'd wake up and hug me. He subconsiously hugs me in the middle of the night or squeezes my hand. I think it hurts me so much because I obviously took him for granted and even if I knew things would be over I wish I did more for him. He's truly a special person and amazing person.

He's been apart of my home and he will always be my home.

I also decided that I will still post all my adventures that included him because I want to keep and share our happy memories. :)