Friday, August 12, 2011

Relationships

Posted by Jen Ko at 10:14 AM
I have been bending backwards trying to save something that might not be there anymore. Unlike before, I keep everything to myself now and I don't think it's really helping. Does anyone know the feeling of not being able to understand certain situations or feeling like you're just paranoid, but not all at the same time. I feel that way towards him, and I am so lost.

I believe people grow up and you drift apart, I am no longer as sappy as I used to be. As I grow older, I become more and more private and it scares me because I don't have a place to vent my true feelings. I'm not making any sense... do I ever?

People say, "you get comfortable," but that's not what I want. I don't want to just get comfortable and I feel like him and I aren't what we used to be, but that doesn't bother him(?) Why? Because we've been together for 4+ years?

I tell him that it hurts me deep down inside and sometimes I don't feel like we are even a couple anymore, but nothing changes and I end up being the biggest nag. so I stop because that's all I can do is stop. I try to tell myself that this is just me(which could be), but all these thoughts still come back in my head. For example, if he's gone for too long I start getting worried like "wtf. is he on his phone talking to another girl? Is he texting? wtf is he doing?" I know, and I'll get so overwhelmed in these feelings that I stick to it. I can't figure myself out anymore, because I'll go the extent and check his phone and find nothing... only to realize I'm being really paranoid.

I know the correct answer to my feelings is to take a break and let myself breath. He's put me through situations I never understood how I got out of, and I think it's all slowly starting to unfold.

I feel so confused, and hurt. I'm tired of being hurt, I really am.


2 comments on "Relationships"

Anonymous said...

First there are always more fish in the sea. I can promise you that there will always be another Guy out there who would treat you better than the last Guy, or go the extra mile to make you happy.

Second, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. The best things in life don't come cheap, they take effort and dedication. If you've been with him for so long, what made you stay? He has to have some quality that makes you want to be with him. Surely you're just hitting the first relationship wall where you feel the itch that something is wrong.

Thirdly, he's a Guy. You have to give us some help when it comes to the feelings stuff. We're not as perceptive as you might think. If you haven't spelled out your concerns in a CLEAR manner :) then he'll probably never know anything was wrong and continue in blissfull ignorance.

I obviously am not going to tell u what to do, just wanted to say I get how you feel. Its not fun. And having been the male lead in a scenario like this before, it can be extremely baffling to get struck outta left field with this stuff over a casual dinner mid burrito as it were.

Hope it all works out for the best. :)
-J

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