There's an abundant of personal stuff that I'm not going to explain or go into detail, but it pretty much went like this.
J decided to make a wrong choice and he decided he wanted to break up.
J meets another girl
I meet other boys
J breaks up with other girl
I end up with another boy
J wants to get back together
I'm in love with another boy
J trys to win me back
I end up with J after breaking up for over half a year.
It's not romantic, it wasn't pretty, and I'm not proud.
I felt like I changed as a person after we broke up, I became more confident, I thought I was happy but I feel like J is the only person that can make me happy. We are stronger than ever, but what happened still hurts. I hate myself for hurting others, and that's something I will always have to live with.
Love isn't a fairytale, we can only make the best out of it. Try to embrace ourselves while loving the other person. I learned it the hard way, and I'm so content and happy now. I think I just need to figure out what to do with my life now.
Life still goes on even if you have a broken heart, but a broken heart can always be mended.