Friday, October 2, 2009

Currently in Taiwan

Posted by Jen Ko at 11:41 AM
The weather is humid and I'm in a very uncomfortable position because I'm stealing someone else's wireless internet :) I came back for my Grandmother's funeral, it was very different. It was a very traditional taoist funeral. I finally realized that I'm not Buddhist but Taoist. There's a difference between them and I think a lot of people mix them up. I learned a lot and grew up a little bit this time. I'm not exactly really happy and I'm not sure why. Sometimes life crumbles down on my shoulder and for the first time in awhile I faced the things I've always been most scared of.

The weight on my shoulders really heavy and I just want to give up. I just don't know what to do anymore and this is the first time that I don't want to stay in Taiwan. I love it here but this time.. I hate it here. I hate the weather, I hate how there's so many people, I hate how I can't go anywhere by myself. I need alone time, I need to be home. It's like a domino effect, once one domino falls.. all else falls. I think I'm talking in circles.. somethings are better left private. It's these times when I smile the most often.

life is currently in b&w. I hope my life turns colorful soon.

1 comments on "Currently in Taiwan"

Toothfairynotes on October 14, 2009 at 1:12 PM said...

I had that too, mixing taoism and buddhism up.. I think I'm both. My dad's family is taoist, and my mom's family is buddhist! crazy...

hope you feel better already, and if not, soon! you sound really sad!

btw: love taiwan... will go back next year in autumn :)